Getting Fed Up... Again

I get so upset whenever someone says I did "bad" at work.

Parang feeling ko hindi ako makakapagtrabaho ng maayos buong gabi dahil masyado akong nacacarried away sa mga negative things na nasasabi sakin ng tao whether it's about work.. my personal life.. etc.

Kasi siguro.. perfectionist ako. If i failed to do something perfectly at work, nadidisappoint ako sa sarili ko.

Pero kapag naman marami akong nagagawang tama sa trabaho, I tend to become so much happy that I forget to keep my feet on the ground.

Tough Life. Tough Work.

I wish can just learn everything in a snap of a finger. And I wish that I can adjust and relate to how urged is everybody while I sit on my desk, accessing my Facebook and doesn't give a damn if they're so stressed about the Big Boss's demands.

Starting to get fed up.. again. I know. Feeling ko sa mga oras na toh' na ginagawa ko ang blog na toh', parang gusto ko nang umuwi at bumyahe paLaguna. Parang gusto ko nang basta na lang iwan yung officemate ko dito na magisa, wag pumasok bukas at magsubmit ng resignation sa Monday.

At dahil diyan, I went out kanina. Feeling ko kasi hindi ko na kayang makaharap pa ang PC ko na punong puno ng mga "Things to do! ~ T****** ASAP"

So I went out.

The photo above is the one I took while walking down Paseo de Roxas. The building to the right is the Chinabank building.

So far, wala namang tao kaya I took the chance to take the photos.



Here is another one. This photo shows the roads of Paseo de Roxas and obviously, wala ring gaanong mga sasakyan.

Para kasing feeling ko, kapag hindi ako umalis sandali ng opisina namin, hindi ako makakahinga. Hindi ako makakapagisip. I feel like I'm gonna be suffocated sa pressure... na ganito gawin mo.. na gawin mo yun etc. I wish I would just know what to do and how to do it... immediately.

I guess one factor that I'm guilty is that really.. I come to the office to work, do the job that they ask for and then I get home, sleep and take the rest days during weekends. Ayokong isipin ang trabaho kapag off ko. Ayokong isipin ang trabaho kapag umuwi nako. I just wanted to get things done. At sa palagay ko, yun ang problema ko... I simply don't care. I just want to get things done.

Maraming beses, naiisip ko. Baka naman hindi lang talaga nagwowork out ang ganitong career sakin.. maybe I needed something na ibang iba talaga sa pilit na binibigay sakin ng pagkakataon.

Pero, wala naman kasing company na perpekto. Nagkataon lang talaga na mas marami kang mapupuna kay CompanyA kesa kay CompanyB.

And unfortunately, I belong to CompanyA.

I remember what Shyder told me before: minsan talaga hindi maiiwasan na madi"ding" ka sa isang bagay na ginagawa mo pala ng hindi tama sa trabaho. At ang epekto? Bothered ka the whole day kapag may nakapansin and it's hard to do the job better when you're bothered.

LOL. These are just challenges at work I guess. And like what I used to say when I was still with my previous company,
.
.
.

kahit lumipat ka pa..
kahit magiba pa ang boss mo..
kahit magiba pa ang mga kasama mong maglunch
kahit magiba pa ang way mo ng pagaaccess ng proxy sa office.
at kahit nagiba na ang atm na kinukunan mo ng sweldo.

... You'd still get the same stress at work. Kanya kanyang forms lang ng stress yan.

I know. And I'm at the point of filling up my "Fed Up At Workplace" Tank again. So far, nasa 20% na siya. I hope I lose that percentage and love the work rather than filling more of that percentage in the tank everyday.

This is such a long road to walk over. I hope I can pass through the end.
.
.
.
and longer...



- chagadelic gurl -

A Post for the Employment

The following is a piece I composed for one of entries for an employment opportunity in an online writing community. It's supposed to be 500 words (Hopefully) and I had to do it secretly in the office. So, I just like to ask everybody.. If my piece sounds stupid, please do not laugh.

Thanks!

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A Writer's New Best Friend: Blogging


One of the most common problem of the expanding number of Journalism graduates in the Philippines is the opportunity to publish their works. Upon graduation, the question of a modern writer is always 'where' to write. It is also a question of who will have the chance to expose their crafts since competition is very high.

For the last couple of years, the publication industry has not been successful in some countries including the Philippines. There are countries who have had millions of professional writers but were unable to publish their works due to lack of opportunities. This also is due to the sudden evolvement of technology as many younger people would adopt better innovation rather than stick to old hobbies such as reading a book. And as the years passes by, audiences of a publication turned out to be looking for a more convenient way to gather information.

One of such innovation is the growing atmosphere of the World Wide Web. According to the Internet World Stats website by Miniwatts Marketing Group, there are 1,733,993,741 estimated internet users over the world as of September 30, 2009. And among this number of internet users, 20 million people currently uses the web to write and around 1.7 million of these people earns from the profession.

The World Wide Web, from a simple communication tool, has expanded to other different usage. The modern writers of today have found the use of the internet to share their pieces, express their thoughts and even gain profit through the use of the Web 2.0, also known an Blogging.

The Blogosphere has been known to be one of the top circulation of information all throughout the world. It opened doors to those writers who are unemployed and are still wanting to pursue their career. It also gives way for other careers such as photographers, entrepreneurs, advertisers and even an average person who just wants to share what is on his mind.

Writers of today have considered Blogging as one of the safest zones to write. In the world of blogging, there is more freedom and the atmosphere just seemed like a diary-like which makes the entries more personal. There has never been a rule to how often a blog entry must be posted which gives way to writers to do more pieces. Also, blogging gave way to author-reader interaction as comments are allowed to be posted given that the writer manages comments himself. Also, the good thing about this is that the writer has more control over his opinions and ideas and the volume of his works is absolutely upto himself.

Through the use of Blogging, publication has now been easier for aspiring writers. One doesn't have to be a professional just to be able to write. No wonder why many writers and non-writers are being so indulged about this new profession. It is because blogging is like connection. It seemed like a connection even without the lines but still, it reaches a lot of minds and you earn like a professional.


References:

Copyright © 2001 - 2010, Miniwatts Marketing Group. All rights reserved worldwide. (http://www.internetworldstats.com/stats.htm).

Copyright ©2010 Dow Jones & Company, Inc. All Rights Reserved . America's Newest Profession: Bloggers for Hire By MARK PENN With E. Kinney Zalesne. APRIL 21, 2009 (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124026415808636575.html).



- chagadelic gurl -

Ako at Ang Avaya

Kasalukuyan akong nakatingin sa Avaya Phone ngayon. Hinihintay ko ang oras. Hinihintay ko na katukin ako ng avaya at sabihin saking.. "Tumigil ka na diyan, umuwi ka na. Wag mo ng pilitin ang sarili mo.."

Muntik na akong gumawa ng isang desisyon kahapon na sa tingin ko ikababago ng buhay ko dapat sa araw na toh'.

Oo. Muntik nakong magresign.

At ano kamong dahilan? Na baka materminate ako dahil sa hindi ko pagpasok sa isang araw na blocked dahil wala akong dahilan sa pag-absent ko.

Kokontrahin ko kung sino ang magsasabi saking wala akong dahilan para umabsent. (At galit daw talaga ko??) Meron akong dahilan. Meron!

11:00PM to 10AM ang pasok ko ng Thursday at dahil magpapalit na ng schedule, magkakaroon ng tinatawag na interim period kung saan iaadjust ang oras ng pagpasok mo para maihabol sa magiging schedule mo. At eto ang nangyari..

Paguwi ko ng bahay ng 12pm, ayan na, inantok nako so natulog nako. Ang problema ko naman non, nasanay ata ang katawan ko na magpanggabi dahil hindi nako makatulog sa gabi. Iniyakan ko na lang..sa sobrang asar ko sa company dahil hindi man lang kinonsidera ang adjustment ko. Pinapapasok nila ako ng 8am hanggang 7pm.

I consider that unfair dahil yung iba nga diyan, 4 days and off. Sigh! Life was unfair at that moment.

I ended up being absent at iniyakan ko pa rin yun dahil sa sobrang takot ko. Blocked dates kasi which means that you are not allowed to be absent.

And to my desperation, sinabi ko na sa sarili ko. Gusto ko na talagang magresign..

Ako at Ang Avaya. Sana log out na lang palagi.



- chagadelic gurl -

Ang Trabaho... Bow!

Kakatapos lang ng regularization ko last month at ngayon, bumibilang nako sa ika-7th month ko sa trabaho. Araw araw stressful. Araw araw nakakainis ang mga kausap mo. At araw ka ding napupuyat.

Nakakaloka talaga magtrabaho sa gabi. Lalo na sa oras ko na covered na covered and buong umaga ng mga clients. 7PM to 6AM.

Tama. 11hrs akong nasa opisina at nakatitig sa monitor at buong magdamag kong pinapagod ang sarili ko para kumita ng perang isang araw lang eh dumudulas na sa kamay ko.

Kagabi, isang trip ang naisip naming gawin ng mga barkada ko. Hinanda ang tuna na nilagyan ng suka. Nagluto ng scrambled egg at sinabawan ng ketchup. Binuksan ang bote ng Red Horse. Shot na!

Isang normal lang naman na inuman ang naganap kagabi. Pero sa interes naming tatlo (Oo, tatlo lang kaming nag-iinom kagabi), iba iba ang nagpagusapan namin. Umabot sa usapang love life, usapang gaguhan, usapang "kelan-tayo-manonood-ng-alice-in-wonderland", at usapang trabaho.. na naman.

Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit paborito kong ikwento ang trabaho ko, pero kasi siguro, eto yung period ng time na masasabi mo sa sarili mong andami mong gustong gawin sa pera at oras mo pero hindi mo magawa. Noong graduating pa lang ako, excited nakong magtrabaho. Ngayon namang graduate nako, gusto ko na lang ulit bumalik sa pag-aaral.

Balik tayo sa inuman. Sa pagkukwentuhan namin, naisiwalat ko ang pinakadahilan ng stress ko sa trabaho. Nasabi ko talaga na nitong mga huling linggo, andaming pressure sa trabaho. Kabi-kabila ang emails na dapat mahit ang metrics.. dapat ganito.. dapat ganun. Panay pa ang dating ng mga clients na panay din ang bantay sa ginagawa mo (Siguro yung ibang readers hindi maiintindihan ang sinasabi ko about sa trabaho ko). Pressured. Stressed. Yan ang umiikot sa utak ko.

Naging masasakitin ako. Lagi akong nanghihinang pumasok. Para sakin, antagal lagi ng oras ko kapag nasa opisina ako. Para akong bibitayin sa tuwing makikita kong papalapit na ang building ng opisina namin. Para mairaos ko ang araw bibili na naman ako ng iba ibang drugs para lang makayanan ko ang bawat araw araw na ipinapasok ko. Parang sacrifice sakin ang paglabas ng bahay at pagsakay sa bus papuntang makati. At ang masasabi ko lang, ganito ang feeling ng gusto ng mag-give up sa trabaho.

Andun nako sa point na ayoko na talagang pumasok. Gusto ko ng gumawa ng resignation letter. Nagon-line na rin ako para humanap ng ibang trabaho. Yung hindi ng boses at hindi kailangan makipagpatintero sa customer sa kabilang linya. Pero habang binabasa ko ang mga description ng jobs na sinend sakin ng Jobstreet, parang gusto kong lumuha at magtatakbo na lang pauwi ng bahay.

Andito yung mga description na mababasa mong:
Must be willing to handle pressure.
Must be willing to work on shifting schedules
Must be aggressive and goal oriented.
Must know how to handle irate customer and deal with their urgent needs and inquiries in a soft tone.
Lentek! Binabasa ko pa lang para tuloy nawawalan nako ng ganang maghanap ng ibang trabaho. Naisip ko tuloy, lahat ng trabaho may pressure. Lahat ng trabaho may stress. Kahit saan pako magpunta, at kahit makamit ko pa ang pinapangarap kong dream job sa Hollywood bilang director ng films na katumbas nina James Cameron at Ang Lee.. may pressure pa rin. Kahit saang lupalop pa ko ng mundo makarating, kahit anong trabaho, at kahit sinong boss pa ang makaharap ko, may pressure pa rin.. may stress pa rin.. at bawat trabaho.. ay luluhaan mo din.

Nabasa ko dati sa isang libro, how do you define a perfect job? Or which is a perfect job? The job that you hate doing so much but pays you a lot or the job the you love doing but pays you very little?

Sa totoo lang, my current job is definitely not the job anybody should ever wish or dream to have. Pero pinili ko to. Tinanggap ko to. Hiningi ko to. Binigay naman sakin kaya dapat ko lang tanggapin kahit anong challenges pa ang meron dito.

Siguro lang, mas pinili ko ang money kesa sa sarili kong pangarap.

Di bale, may oras pa naman. Sana hindi pa huli ang lahat para sa mga pangarap ko (Ang drama!). And I don't want to take calls forever.



- chagadelic gurl -