"Don't ask me.
You're the one who asked me on a date.
You should know where to take me."
You're the one who asked me on a date.
You should know where to take me."
"You're as beautiful as they are." He made me feel at ease with those last words he just told me.
Still hesitant, I had to accept the flowers. And I still couldn't imagine myself being in a date with a guy, as a couple and with a bouquet of flowers.
This is effin' ridiculous. Nabanggit ko na lang sa sarili ko.
But then again, It would be very harsh of me to just reject him like that. At kahit papano, kahit uncomfortable para sakin, I had to accept the flowers. Ayoko rin namang sirain ang araw na toh' kahit na para sakin, Valetine's day is just one big heck of a joke.
"So? shall we?" He asked me. I nodded and followed him.
Lumalalim na ang gabi. Dumadami na rin ang couples sa paligid. Lalo akong naiilang but I'm trying me best efforts to be very OK and sweet to him. I'm trying to make myself romantic. Just so I could relate to him.
Palakad lakad lang kami. Paikot ikot sa buong area. Nagkkwentuhan pa rin kami and just merely enjoying the place. Napansin pa naming may free concert si John Ford Coley, though medyo konti ang nanonood, ayos na rin.
Out of nowhere, biglaan pa kaming tinapatan ng isang lalaking may hawak na malaking Sony HDC-1400R HD portable studio camera. Itinutok niya sa amin ang camera at inilawan pa kami. Yun pala, kinukunan kami ng crew ni Gretchen Malalad para sa news report niya. (Kung nanoood kayo ng balita ng madaling araw, malamang nakita nyo kami.)
Nagdecide na kaming kumain since gumagabi na. Nagpaikot-ikot kami sa buong area para humanap ng restaurant na masarap kainan. Sa dami ng choices, parang hindi na rin niya alam kung saan ako dadalhin.
Dito, nagsimula nakong mainis.
Napansin niyang hindi na maganda ang mood ko. Kaya para lang mapakain na niya ko, pumili na siya ng malapit na restaurant sa paligid.
"Ano? Dito na lang tayo?" Tanong niya sakin.
"Ewan ko sayo. Don't ask me. You're the one who asked me on a date. You should know where to take me." Naiinis ko siyang nilitanyahan.
Alam kong hindi na rin siya comfortable since inaatake na siya ng Dyspepsia. Pinili na naming kumain sa Stackers Burger Cafe. Sa puntong ito, medyo irritable nako dahil ramdam ko na rin naman ang pagod sa paikot ikot lang na lakad namin thinking na nanggaling pako sa trabaho.
Medyo gumagabi na rin naman noon kaya hindi na rin namin maiwasang madaliin ang "romantic" date sana namin. Ang backfire pa, medyo mabagal ang service ng crew dahil na rin sa dami ng tao.
He ordered chicken while I ordered burger. It turned out to be a casual dining experience for both of us. Afterwards, we've both decided to go home. We took a cab going home to our apartments. Epic fail pa nga ang taxi ride namin pauwi dahil nagkamali ng nilusutang kalye yung taxing sinasakyan namin.
I got home having the three fuschia pink roses with me. But before the night ended, he confessed to me that during the time he was offering me the flowers, people were staring at him. Napahiya daw siya though OK lang daw sa kanya because he fully understands how I feel.
Ako naman ang na-frustrate.
I guess I've been a bit harsh about how I over-reacted. It's Valentine's day. People give each other flowers. It doesn't have to be romantic at all. Sheesh, I've just been a bit bitchy.
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It was our first Valentine's as a couple.. again. I guess the general rating as to how it ended that day will be a total "It sucked" day. Hindi yun dahil lang sa hindi siya prepared or dahil maraming failure sa date namin.
I guess the reason why it wasn't-so-romantic is because we both sucked at being romantic. He tried to do efforts thinking as if this or that is enough. I refused to cooperate. I refused to appreaciate and incorporate myself with anything happening that day. I have declined allowing myself to be expressive because I have been afraid to give more and receive less. For that, the words are "afraid-not-meeting-the-expectations".
On his part, I could say that it is pretty obvious that he had no plans. That he didn't even thought of doing anything special for us on that day. He had to chose to just let it pass... like any other couple celebrating the same day. Pero sabi ko nga, hindi ibig sabihin na napuna ko yung mga bagay na yun eh hindi ako masaya.
Naging masaya ako. I just never thought that it is how our Valentine's day would end up. I was sort fo expecting more... sana.
But like a popular line, I can just always say "It's Epic Fail."
On the other side, kahit frustrated ako, I feel so much guilty that I acted that way. In this case, (in which I know he's contantly checking my blog for updates), I'd like to let him know that I'm sorry.
I don't intend for it to happen. At the same time, I'd like to say "Thank you" to him, for trying his very best to make that day work out. It may not be the best, but I appreciate the wonderful experience.
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